stephenbrooks.orgForumTalkMallardsLights on, nobody home?
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magicfan241
2002-08-14 14:00:59
This phrase makes a lot of sense to be because I recently walked passed my house and even though their was no one home, the lights were on.  I bet that never to Chris Johnson so neah.

Did I upload my new kernal release?
--The dying thoughts of a nerd
Stephen Brooks
2002-08-15 11:56:18
Ducks on, nobody home.

Err I've left the DUCKS on again.  They'll run down their batteries.
magicfan241
2002-08-15 16:24:47
Well, ducks recharge, right?


"Windows partition, where are you?"
Is that what you said Stephen.  smile


"Scary" Steve -- mine is spelled with a v so I'm specialer!

Did I upload my new kernal release?
--The dying thoughts of a nerd
Pascal
2002-08-15 22:53:49
Perhaps the ducks hung on a power supply?

___________________________
1: Athlon TB-C, 1.2 GC/s, 256 MB DDR-RAM, Erazor x², ADSL-Flatrate, NIC Intel, Win 98 SE Mainboard MSI-6380 Rev.  1
2: Pentium III, 600 MC/s, 256 MB RAM, NIC Intel, Win 98 SE
Stephen Brooks
2002-08-19 15:54:00
I wonder if I'd get away with charging Ducks () up on the mains rather than with the small odd mains-to-ducks adapter?
Thomas King
2002-08-24 11:50:46
Well, the breakdown voltage of a small rubber duck is about 6kV or so.  At this point, the ion stream from the electrodes managed to percolate through the rubber and form a constant spark.  This burnt a larger hole and caused lots of smoke, which then allowed a plasma stream to form between the electrodes, which was hot enough to set the unfortunate duck on fire.  So there.
Thomas King
2002-08-24 15:00:37
I was sitting in a cafe in Oxford today, as one does, trying to work out how I was going to manage getting from a physics lecture (which for some confusing reason will take place on floor 40 of the arts tower block) to a chemistry practical (in a lab thats a good 20 mins walk away) in 5 mins.  Anyway, as I sat there, reading "Beano" and wondering why it was that espresso's taste to quintessentially foul, a big horribe fly came buzzing round.  It WAS big, and nasty-looking.  Bzzzzz, it went.  Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  Bzzz.  And so on and so forth, you probably get the general idea.  Now, fly's aren't liked in cafe's really, because they tend to spread disease and illness and so forth, and the cafe's think that they have the sole right to do this and obviously the flies impinge on thier buisness.  To discourage the insects they have an intresting fly killing device.  Well, OK, it kills them, but that's a pretty strong discouragment, right?  If I was set on doing something and then BAM someone came along and killed me I'd loose my passion for whatever I was going to do.  Back to this fly.  Specifically, this fly-killing invention.  What it consists of is a blue striplight (which seems to have the odd effect of attacting flies.  I mean, I'm as fond of blue lights as the next person, but I don't head staight for any that I happen to see.  Oh well, no accounting for taste.) that is encased by a metal grid.  The bars of the grid are seperate, and seem to alternatley held at rather a high voltage because of the faint buzzing and smell of ozone that percolates down from it (its right over my favourite table, great).  Well, this big fat fly was no different from the others.  He made a bee-line (or a fly-line.  hahahahah funny) for the light and would have made it if there hadn't been those dratted bars in the way.  BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ it went.  BZZZZZ BZZZZZZ BZZZZZZZZZZ BZZ BZZZZZZZZZZ.  I could see the sparks, they were about 3 centimeters in lentgh.  I'm sure that fly was very dead.  But it was still stuck to the bars, and still conducted, so was still getting the full benefit of the juice.  BZZZZZZZ.  It continued for quite a long time.  Everyone else in the cafe thought it rather horrible but I just laughed because, well, it was funny (duh).  Then the dead corpse finally relinquished its hold on the high voltage bars and bounced out of the infernal device and nearly landed in my coffee cup.  Ha.
Stephen Brooks
2002-08-24 16:14:45
quote:
Originally posted by Thomas King:
I was sitting in a cafe in Oxford today, as one does, trying to work out how I was going to manage getting from a physics lecture (which for some confusing reason will take place on floor 40 of the arts tower block) to a chemistry practical (in a lab thats a good 20 mins walk away) in 5 mins.


I like this bit especially considering
  • there is no 40-floor tower block in Oxford
  • it is the middle of the summer vacation so there aren't any physics and chemistry lectures happening
  • last time I heard Tom King was not going to Oxford
but there may be some reason for all this I have failed to notice.  The only one I can think of is that he is planning his timetable for {Some Nondescript University} many weeks in advance, while happening to be a civilian in Oxford, which is an awful lot less interesting than actually living in realtime, although much more interesting than Chris Johnson, for example.


"As every 11-year-old kid knows, if you concentrate enough Van-der-Graff generators and expensive special effects in one place, you create a spiral space-time whirly thing, AND an interesting plotline"
Thomas King
2002-08-25 05:27:58
There IS a 40-floor tower block in oxford, you just haven't found it.  A few floors are held by proxy in other places, but its still very obvious as a kebab van.  And yes, I believe its general to plan one's timetable slightly in advance, and, well, its rather complicated.  You get things called "course credits" for taking certain courses, and you're meant to choose additional courses on top of your core ones so that you have about 60 credits per semester.  My core courses give me 80 credits per semester.  Meh.  Meh.  Still, there is a pond with DUCKS on near the chemistry building.  When the interviewer asked me "do you have any questions" I rather adroitly asked "Are there any ducks around?" and he replied "Yes, as a matter of fact, on that pond over there" and waved out of a window at a perfect view of a brick wall about 15 feet away with some humungous PIPES running down it.  The ducks may or may not have been in said pipes, I didn't get a chance to check.
Stephen Brooks
2002-08-25 05:53:10
ERRR hahaha maybe he thought you said "DUCTS", which would have been far more chemistry-related.
Thomas King
2002-08-25 09:39:25
But if he thought I was asking about ducts then his reply of "Yes, on the pond over there" becomes odder and odder, unless they were siphoning off pondwater for some poirpoises.
Stephen Brooks
2002-08-25 09:40:10
You would still have to explain why he said they were in a pond though.  Err ducts in a pond.  I looked out of the window of a pub on Saturday and saw a load of ducks standing up.  This was odd because they appeared to be standing in an 8-foot-deep part of the river.  I mentioned to my mum this was odd and she said maybe there was a PIPE underwater there that they were sitting on.

Afterwards we went for a walk and saw a load of geese in a field next to a car-park (isn't it odd how they ALWAYS put geese next to a car-park if it is convenient to do so?) and some odder geese lined up on the banks of the river.  Three were odd in particular: one only had one leg, the next had no head and the third one had wheels.  However later on some more geese came down the river and honked at them (probably "Grow a head, stupid!  You can't see otherwise"), which caused one of them to grow a head and the other a third leg.  The one with wheels rolled down a slope into a patch of *mallards.
Thomas King
2002-08-25 12:11:59
ERER a THIRD leg?  and about the headless one, how would it have heard the borking from the other geese if it didnt have a head?  Unless like spiders they have ears in thier legs.  I always remember the way of proving that spiders have ears in thier legs.  If you have a spider, and you make a loud noise near it, it hears the noise and runs away.  Now, if you pull the legs off......
Pascal
2002-08-25 14:16:30
GRANK GRANK razz razz razz

___________________________
Member of www.rechenkraft.net - German Website about Distributed Computing Projects

1: Athlon TB-C, 1.2 GC/s, 256 MB DDR-RAM, Erazor x², ADSL-Flatrate, NIC Intel, Win 98 SE Mainboard MSI-6380 Rev.  1
2: Pentium III, 600 MC/s, 256 MB RAM, NIC Intel, Win 98 SE
Stephen Brooks
2002-08-26 13:00:06
And two-ended parrots to you.
magicfan241
2002-08-28 09:21:54
No... those are lorikeets.

These are parrots:


(insert parrot picture here)

Did I upload my new kernal release?
--The dying thoughts of a nerd
Stephen Brooks
2002-09-02 07:27:00
ERRR why did Tom King suddenly become an Administrator for a while??


"As every 11-year-old kid knows, if you concentrate enough Van-der-Graff generators and expensive special effects in one place, you create a spiral space-time whirly thing, AND an interesting plotline"
Thomas King
2002-09-02 17:11:43
Er-Er-Er.  I didn't notice that.  Its nothing that I did, I know that.  Unless buying a t-shirt with a duck with a stethoscope and the caption "Trust me, I'm a ducktor" counts.
necronomicon
2002-09-02 22:39:06
Um do you think that the fly was sterilised by the high voltage ?

I used to try shooting flies with an air rifle ( easy to do after 15 pints of newcastle brown ) However I now think that it is easier to eat them whilst they are still worming about in a bit of rotten meat in a sort of pre-hatch sandwich..

ummmm!

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